Ruin

The poem was written by me when I was 15, round 3 yrs ago.
The entire poem was inspired by one line.
Its the last line in the Hush Series comic - Batman
when batman remembers jason todd, and how he could'nt stop the joker from killing him...
I can think of greater fear, no darker despair than to see ur child dead before you. Like most of other old poems, I felt I had to use this line somewhere and came up with poem, titled ruin / betrayal. Like i care.
Not that most of you would prefer to know why/how I write/wrote my poems...
My blog takes more of an introspective and one and is merely to assuage my own ego, atleast that takes greater priority when compared to the fact that most would have already stopped reading some time back.

Ruin

My mind tore apart like grains of dust,
Thrust in the midst of a blizzard,
My soul quivered in righteous indignation,
As my mind grew dark, my senses numb, my vision blurred.

Recall back the days of innocent yore,
When we once were friends inseperable,
With but one mind and no thoughts concealed,
With friendship strong, firm, unbreakable.

We grew together as time flew by,
With eternity's minions strengthening our bonds,
Vows many did we once swear,
To keep our secrets to the bitter end and beyond.

Like one mind in dual entities,
Never did conflict between us intervene,
You playing Damon to my Pythias,
Such friendship legend had never seen.

Even with the forest entire uprooted,
One tree firm would always stand,
That firm mountain which once could hell could brook,
Has now crumbled to particles of sand.

When the world ran in greed or fear,
For other each did we wait,
Like two swords in but one sheath,
We would stick together till trouble abate.

What compels you now to turn your back,
To your dear friend in his time of need,
Neither wealth nor power could be motive strong,
To make you laugh in mirth when your comrade doth bleed.

But ideal or love be reason might,
To this moment be evil seed,
What wonder to the world it be,
That such friendship to such hatred could lead.

Though the world be against me,
Steadfast alongside I thought you would be in my strife,
But now I have no desires, no hope,
Without a friend, a life is no life.

I can think of no darker fear, no greater despair,
Than to live to see your friend betray you,
O ye Unfaithful, cursed may you be,
Et tu, Brute, Et Tu, Et tu....

- Thriddas Anorak

Masqued Existence

Do not know why I wrote it...
Written on date published...
Also, all titles henceforth are to be ignored.
Do NOT know what to call my poems.
I personally am not too fond of the way I wrote this
could've done better, I suppose.
Like the idea put forth, but could've done it better, probably made it less direct and self-explanatory. However, the idea oblique thought oblique concept I wished to express is not yet clearly defined in my own mind. On ordinary occassions, would not have tried to write on what I clearly have not yet understood..
Still, an attempt, be nice. (Hahahaha!!!)

Masqued Existence

We all wear a gamut of masks,
Of varied moulds, colourful, chaotic,
A plethora of emotions dressed fancy,
Bedecked by customs, prejudices, principles.

Changing masks with time, person, place,
In orderly self-righteous, composed assuredness,
No qualms about delusion, self deceit, honesty,
Propreity and societal norms demand fluidity.

A mask is but a cloak that hides,
True intent, nature, primal instincts,
The aspiration of self and ideal emerge,
Approved by all and deemed correct to wear.

All prefer to show what is not,
True selves disappear in layers of veils,
Adapted, improved , perfected mannerisms,
We misdirect all in blinding light.

Most are ignorant of deception of self,
Masks unnoticed, though smothering,
An accepted lie to truth does morph,
Pretense and act do actions become.

We tremble in thought of what exists,
Deep beneath the barriers we place,
Unchecked by morals, inhibition or altruistic bondage,
What vile demon is spawned in us?

Binding our fears, our obsessions, our darkness,
We project what not we are in thought,
A cynic hopes to never hope again,
In cowardly fear of fall.

Our masks govern our thought and mind,
But what of those few, poor souls,
Who of masks are aware and despise
Yet play in hope that they might believe they only play.

They who recognise themself as object, not image,
And yet would rather prefer to not,
For brutal truth to helplessness does lead,
And they life in hypocriy, knowledge, loathing.

For they understand and respect it not,
And project themselves true but as masks,
In hope that as other masks removable it be,
And convince themself that they only act.

When the mask becomes a mask itself,
To convince themselves and others of false false,
They believe that they participate in facade and farce,
To salvage their sanity and conscience.

We all wear a gamut of masks,
And in self-deception ourself delude,
Are we waiting for an epiphany,
Or is this is reality, life?

- Thriddas Anorak

If any do read this piece and notice how confused it is, tell me. Do indeed point out all the lacunae in my thought process. I however cannot respond. I do not know why or how I wrote what I did. Would like to...Help me understand what I have expressed whether it be flawed or not.

Memories

This poem was written for a friend...
The intention was to write a poem which conveyed what she meant to all of us and suchlike sentimentality...
However, I realised that I was not one among those who could express such sentiments in poesy. Happy, sentimental, heart-warming poems written by poets, I admire and envy, for the bitter, mordant cynic in me has ceased to be able to write such poems... Pity

Memories

When oft we be lost in thought idle,
Reminiscing of days long bygone,
Or with weary brow, we brave a smile,
To face tribulations yet unborn.

The mind is thrown by torrents of gale,
Through raging winds, amidst dreadful storms,
Or to tender rain on beaches gold,
Memories fleet by in different forms.

Secretly untracked by conscious mind,
Slipping through rational defence and guard,
They assail our mind, negate other thought,
Though hard we may try to keep them barred.

Piercing mists of time unyielding, firm,
Reliving days o innocent joy,
Ephemeral glimpses of ecstasy,
Which time’s momentum would soon destroy.

Thoughts phase to darker, more troubled times,
Memories tougher than endurance,
On sanity’s summit, edge of dying hope,
Thoughts then futile now fond smile befriends.

Ponder we might on both alike,
Be lost in time’s deceitful mires,
Behind lay memories, cherished, loved,
Ahead fate’s furnace, testing fires.

Though fortune and mercurial fate,
Conspire to quench aspiring thirst,
Strong we will stand, with steely resolve,
Eternity’s minions do their worst.

And if ever will falter or mind unsure,
While hurdles you uncertainly face,
Permit a glance alongside at us,
Be with you, for you, by you always.



Worthy treasures we share beyond account,
Of days past and hopes yet to fulfil,
Wishful sighs self-envy accompany,
If but damn time would once stand still…

Though forest entire be unrooted,
Mocking fate, would always stand one tree,
Through joy and sorrow, colour and grey,
Together, ever with you, we’ll be.

We’ll be there for you,
When the rain starts to pour,
We’ll be there for you,
Like we’ve been there before,
We’ll be there for you,
Cause you’ve been there for us too….

- Thriddas Anorak

Expressions

The poem was written around 5 months ago.
I like it... its a tad bit too simple, and superficial...
but still...
I had not expressed thoughts in verse for quite sometime and this was a poem that I wrote with intention different...
I thought I would express something simple but however ended up thinking that somethings are better left unexpressed...
Hence wrote this.

Steeled Minds

When oft I lay in idle thought,
Of things, people, thoughts I lack,
Or be in chore or tedious task at hand,
My mind to one vision goes back.

Ah, how maddening it is to loose control,
Of one’s own mind in times of need,
To let it wander in listless pastures,
As gnawing thoughts on sanity do feed.

Repeatedly, persistently, the mind returns,
From lands away or ideals yet unborn,
To haunt mind mine with thought one,
With that one thought, the rest are gone.

No trick of mind or delusion of self,
Dismisses it from conscious state of mind,
Yet laughable it be to think again of it,
And yet of it, I often myself remind.

When path be clear and intent be strong,
And reality appear as brightest day,
Yet in idle ideal fantasies I dwell,
Why, Why does it not go away?

It is pitiful that I for all my thought,
Enslaved I am by manacles known,
To be judged as part of throng and mob,
By mockery and passion is my heart torn.

Though beautiful indeed is that one vision,
And to peals of happiness my heart it sets abeat,
Yet ignore it, I must to my best,
Wrench it away, though difficult be feat.

For afford I can’t to ponder even a while,
For thought to mind brings hope along,
And though lost I be in passions adrift,
At end, to rational mind my thoughts belong.

To long for goal proven elusive,
To know path chosen, having led the way,
Having known and been capable to judge,
How did one such as me get led astray.

Away, I scorn it for fear of control,
When in grasp of fear mine I be,
For one such as me, what is cure?
Is it piteous, Is it pathetic, Is it me?

- Thriddas Anorak

Note : The poem above is only about my mental condition the day it was written, due to an errant recurring thought, about which I believe I have expressed enough, the above was written. I am assuming others would probably know the feeling of some stupid thought in your head which refuses to play ball a la Balaam's Ass....
Any resemblance to any experience the reader has gone through is purely the ways of fate or rather the stupidity of the human brain and one is not to flatter oneself and assume that the above poem had them as a source of inspiration.

Any request or enquiry about what exactly the errant thought was will not be entertained. Not that anybody actually cares, considering no one or rather few know about this blog, but still... the inherent nature of a self-important egomaniac had to show its true worth.

Toodle-oo
Pip Pip

My Orkut Profile

My Orkut profile was long overdue for editting
However, could not delete old stuff,
Am vainly attached to all my creations and hence, moved to this illfated blog
I find it mildly humourous and good fun to go through....

Before the next line is my poem "Entropial Anarchy of Mind"
and for the sake of the reader's sanity and my own laziness, I have refrained from reposting it considering its just down here in the same blog on the same page!

The following stanza is a comment after the poem and after this, it rambles on to a considerable extent about myself

Do I take the closed integral over all paths for maximum probability???
The above poem is a product of confusion, as can be observed from the stanzas. I have no idea why I want to put it up on my profile. This is my first attempt at a whole poem in blank verse (I mean, without rhyme) The only thing I have strived to maintain is the amount of syllables in every line. How do others manage syllabic symmetry. Found it quite difficult...…

ACHIEVEMENTS : Went to WYSC, Minesweeper expert in 153 seconds, sane.

Nothing is absolute.I like to believe that I am immune to self - delusion.
We base our behavior and principles on our thoughts and actions and not the other way.
Amazing how people are so hypocritical especially in the presence of strangers...
New conversation style : garmana ganthiny dan vegitherny.
godo nuf nad on eon nac duntersand uyo.

I have a penchant for talking crap. Utter nonesense and most of what i say is not worthy of your least attention.
Do try and check out Fermat's Last Theorem. Also read up on Maxwell's Laws. Amazing....

Understanding myself has been the toughest thing on the planet. (not anymore though) However, as others see me, I am a geek, a studious dimwit who grabs any chance to a make a fool of himself or show off. I love comics and cartoons, am extremely moody and temperamental. My sense of humour is absurd if existent and I am really really good at irritating people. Pretty good at scrabble too.
I behave VERY differently with different people. I discovered that I have a multi-fragmented personality. The correct me is resonance stabilized. So don't mind the echo! Ask any one of me and i'll clue you in on the other two, HEY!! That's my line!!

The way i behave depends on my mood, the music i have heard, the number of times i repeat myself and overstate the obvious.
If I don't think highly of you, don't be expect to be all nice, sickly saccharine sweet to you. I might not be rude to u, just cold and indifferent.
Have decided never to delete parts of profile, just add loads more rot to it..

I have absolutely NO will power...

In brightest day,
In darkest night,
No evil shall escape my sight,
Let those who worship evil's might,
Beware my power, Green Lantern's Light...

The decrees of fate are not ordained my mankind.
As an analogy, my mind is equally confused, contradictory and my views change.

And now, let the cry ring out,
Let it shake the ground and rock the firmament above,
That Krona shall know, we come for him,
AVENGERS ASSEMBLE!!!!

Aye, base villian, Thor, Thor - God of Thunder,
Who hath had enow of thy witcheries,
Cease thy prattling.
Like these others, I am myself again,
And more, I am angry,
I shall brook thy perfidy no longer,
So says Thor, Odinson.
Get Thee gone!!

Phrases to be added
By Heimdall's Eyes,
Odsblood,
By Odin's Beard,
In all the Nine Worlds....